#DOUG CLARK SERIAL KILLER FREE#

#DOUG CLARK SERIAL KILLER FREE#

The guy opened the trunk of his car and told me he’d toss in some free pills if I’d take the giant shoes, too.ĭoesn’t anybody have a sense of levity, anymore?Ĭlowns are about fun. Had to meet this shady dude in a dark alley on West First. The other day I bought a new red fright wig. It’s getting really rough out there for a clown to get yuks anymore. Halfway through the meal one cannibal turns to the other and says: You know, that reminds Dougles of these cannibals who caught a clown once and ate him for dinner. To improve its image, the band “Insane Clown Posse” changed its name to “Incest Cannibal Patrol.” The Spokane City Council won’t let Ben Stuckart attend meetings anymore. Thugs have threatened to pummel clowns on sight, which may sound hilarious unless you’re the clown. Major stores like Target have stopped selling clown costumes and accessories. Schools have banned all things clown with automatic suspension for anybody who even utters the word “pratfall.” Here we are, a week before Halloween and yet America’s once-beloved clown community is being treated like Donald Trump at a Miss Teen pageant.Īccording to CBS news, the entire nation is more freaked out than Janet Leigh in the “Psycho” shower scene over a “wave of creepy clown sightings across the United States.”

I’m talking about the evils of clownism, of course.

But this time he’s loaned me his soapbox to discuss an important cause.Īlthough if we’re being totally honest, the way newspapers are headed, Clark’s soapbox wouldn’t pack a used bar of Ivory.Īnyhoo, he’s allowed me, Dougles the Clown, to speak out on the rampant discrimination that rivals sexism, racism, ageism or even priapism. Doug Clark, The Spokesman-Review’s aging Communist, I mean columnist, has taken yet another day off.

Doug clark serial killer